For several years I ran a production company and booking agency with my best friend and business partner.
We were passionate and active in the Boston area underground hardcore/metal music scene and one day realized if we wanted to see our favorite bands we would have to book them ourselves — DIY style.
So we did and it was a blast. It was also at times pretty miserable. Plenty of stories from those years. We met a ton of characters. But I’ll save some of those stories for another day.
You may know about the awesome satirical punk news website, The Hard Times. I wrote an article recapping some experiences from those wild years booking hardcore shows and submitted it for consideration. It didn’t make the cut so I decided to post it on my own site.
You can read it below. I’d say about 2/3s of it is completely true. A word of caution: it contains some rough language. Consider yourself warned. Enjoy!
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Economic Realities of Actual Hardcore Show Promoter Differ From Those of Imagined Hardcore Show Promoter
North Shore, Mass. – Stinging accusations have been made against Boston-area show promoter Nicholas Clarke that claim he has unscrupulously built a lucrative six-figure empire on the backs of hardcore bands he books at local VFWs and church function halls.
Clarke has established himself over the past four years as the most active metal and hardcore show promoter just north of Boston, consistently booking events that showcase nationally recognized acts.
His efforts have grown a vibrant scene that sees underground music fans from nearby cities and towns regularly attending his shows, each of which he categorically, unequivocally and consistently hemorrhages his own money on.
Local Hardcore Show Experts With Questionable Perspectives Speak Out
A regular attendee of Clarke’s shows eagerly weighed in on the recent accusations, offering a unique perspective completely detached from reality and void of any understanding of basic arithmetic.
“Nick thinks he’s Ari-fucking-Gold,” said Johnny Spinkick, a local scene all-star who makes it a point to crowdkill 14 year-olds at every show he attends.
“When he first started booking shows he would charge $5 to get in,” he continued.
“Last week he brings in three bands from Chicago and all of a sudden it’s $7 to get in,” Spinkick noted with a look on his face that can only be described as similar to a chimpanzee being confused by a magic trick.
“Claims the bands ‘needed money for gas and food’ after driving for 15 hours. Sure, and I’m the tooth fairy. Everyone knows that money went straight into his pocket.”
Show of Grit or Cognitive Impairment?
Clarke says he spends about three Saturdays per month and now many weekdays producing shows.
“Most DIY promoters won’t book a gig unless it takes place on a Friday or Saturday,” he said. “Someone has to help out these touring bands with weekday shows so I’ve stepped up to the plate.”
According to Clarke, running shows includes setting up sound equipment, collecting money at the door, making sure set times don’t run over schedule, and preventing the area’s self-proclaimed “biggest supporters of the scene” from sneaking in the back door of each venue to avoid paying admission.
Reliable sources claim Clarke can be found alone at night after every show mopping venue floors and clearing parking lots of cigarette butts and broken beer bottles left behind by straight-edge show-goers.
“Every time I get a call from this kid I can’t stop laughing,” said Robert McKinley, a local police officer who attends each of Clarke’s shows, a mandatory regulation set by the county which costs Clarke $350 per event. “I have no idea why he keeps doing this.”
“Every time I get a call from this kid I can’t stop laughing,” said Robert McKinley, a local police officer who attends each of Clarke’s shows, a mandatory regulation set by the county which costs Clarke $350 per event. “I have no idea why he keeps doing this.”
“I did ask him about it once,” continued McKinley. “He said ‘the scene is important’ and ‘it’s a brotherhood, man.’ It was at that very moment I pointed out one of his ‘brothers’ pissing down the slide on the playground St. Mary’s Church uses it for its pre-school program.”
Virtual Pitchforks and Digital Torches Come Out
Clarke’s dedication to bringing national and international touring acts to the area, as well as his altruistic efforts to raise the profiles of area bands by featuring them as openers, are surprisingly never discussed on highly respected local message board ShoreXXXCore.com.
What was, however, the focus of recent discussion on the forum were the monstrously absurd accusations being lobbed against him.
“Clarke can go fuck himself,” said poster MoshFiend92.
The caustic comment left by MoshFiend92 was in relation to an upcoming hardcore show Clarke has on the books next month featuring the return of local ‘core legends Activate Hate.
“Here we go again with the price gouging. Ten bucks at the door for admission? That guy claims he’s always in the red from these shows but I’m calling bullshit. Just last Tuesday I spotted him and his girlfriend eating at Taco Bell. You tell me — how’s that add up?”
“The Taco Bell around the corner from that one-room palace he shares with her?” asked BoneNeedle18. “I heard that dump was condemned by the city last week for not having any running water.”
“Yeah, that’s the one,” replied MoshFiend92. “Anyway, screw him and his shows. Guy doesn’t give a shit about the scene. I’d totally start booking shows myself, but my gig at the mall just doubled my schedule from five hours per week to ten so I don’t have time.”
Clarke Responds, Sadness Ensues For Anyone Reading
We were able to catch up with Clarke once more via email prior to this story going live. Below is his statement printed in its entirety.
“Sorry for the late response. My internet was shut off last month and I can only get to the library to use a public computer once a week since my car was impounded for unpaid parking tickets.
Anyway, the show ‘MoshFiend92’ (Ricky, I know that’s you) is complaining about paying $10 for? Let’s do some math. One show with five bands. That equals $2 per band. Not much when you think about it, is it?
Not only do I keep admission costs as low as possible, I pay bands their guarantees before covering my expenses — something no other promoter on the planet does.
That means there’s barely ever money left to cover payment for the hall rental, the cop, gas for driving to other gigs to hand out flyers, and the two cases of water I provide the bands. I end up losing my ass on every show.
That’s not even counting the repayment plan I worked out with St. Mary’s after someone ripped the sink off the wall in the bathroom and smeared feces in the shape of an inverted cross on the mirror during the Burnt Neck show last January. (Ricky 一 I know that was you, too. Can’t you just grow up?)
Listen, I’m sorry, but I need to cut this email short. I only have an hour on this computer and I need to figure out how to apply for food stamps.”
